


L-A-K-E

by heygaymayday



Series: Look Out, Jackson Town [2]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Useless Lesbian Ellie (The Last of Us)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25584403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heygaymayday/pseuds/heygaymayday
Summary: “You’re in trouble,” Dina says in a sing song taunt, “T-R-O-B-L...wait...T-R-U-L...fuck.”Ellie starts laughing, can’t catch her breath.“You can’t even spell ,” She laughs, “You are drunk. D-R-U-N-K.”
Relationships: Cat & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: Look Out, Jackson Town [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854280
Comments: 37
Kudos: 286





	1. D-R-U-N-K

**Author's Note:**

> Just fluff. Part of a series of little-nothing stories, small events that take place during the pre-TLOU2 Jackson years.

There’s a place out in Jackson, just outside the gates but firmly within the radius of safety surrounding the town. This little place is back within the trees, along a winding path through the swell of the hills. It’s a deep, cool lake, partially surrounded by a tall shelf of rocky hillside. 

And in the summer, if you pick the right evening and follow the sound of drunken hollering and splashing, you’ll probably find most of Jackson’s young people being a bunch of idiots down there.

Up above the lake, there’s a campfire going, and several people are singing a wavering cover of  _ Don’t Stop Believin’,  _ severely off time and out of key. A few people are down in the water, or gathered in small clumps down at the bank; but the real draw, the reason anyone is really there, is to take turns jumping off that shelf off rock and into the water below.

Jesse lets off a wild, whooping sound as he takes his third jump; Dina, Ellie, and Cat lean over the side and look for him down below. It only takes a moment for him to break the dark surface of the water, laughing.

“C’mon!” He calls up at them as he swims for the bank, “Cowards!”

“Did he just call us cowards?” Dina asks.

“I think he did,” Ellie says, “He really did.”

“I’m not scared,” Dina says, “Are you scared?”

“No,” Ellie says, “I’m not scared of anything.”

“Bicycles,” Dina says pointedly.

“I wasn’t  _ scared  _ of the bicycle--”

“ _ Don’t let go of me, Dina, or so help me--”  _ Dina says in a high-pitched voice.

“That is  _ not  _ how I sound,” Ellie says defensively, but Dina doesn’t adjust the whiney pitch.

“ _ It’s gonna fall, don’t let me go--” _

“Ok, if you’re so  _ not _ scared, why don’t  _ you  _ jump?” Ellie says.

“I’m  _ not _ scared--”

“You know you don’t  _ have  _ to jump off the cliff?” Cat interjects to both of them, “Literally, no one is making you do this.”

“He called us  _ cowards,”  _ Dina says, as if this completely destroys Cat’s argument.

“Yeah,” Ellie says, “We have to do  _ something.” _

“You could--come back to the fire with me,” Cat suggests, “And maybe slow down on the beer before you end up doing something really stupid.”

“That does  _ not _ sound like fun,” Dina notes, “Plus, I mean, we’re not drunk--are  _ you  _ drunk?”

“No, I’m not--no way, pssht. I’m not drunk,” Ellie says unconvincingly, “Are  _ you  _ drunk?”

“I just said I  _ wasn’t--” _

“You said  _ we,  _ so--y’know, I just wanted to be sure--”

“Ellie, please,” Cat says with a frustrated sigh, “Just come on back to the fire with me. Play a song on the guitar.  _ Please. _ ”

“I  _ will-- _ but first--”

“She totally  _ will,”  _ Dina says in helpful emphasis, “She’ll play, like,  _ all _ the songs--”

“Yeah, just--first, y’know. First,  _ this.” _

“Yeah, first she’s gonna jump into the lake--”

“No, wait, I didn’t--I didn’t say I was gonna jump--”

“Well, now I’m confused--”

“You guys are idiots,” Cat sighs and turns away, marches back to the fire.

“Shit--Cat, I’m sorry,” Ellie says, but Dina is snickering.

“You’re in  _ trouble,”  _ Dina says in a sing song taunt, “T-R-O-B-L...wait...T-R-U-L...fuck.”

Ellie starts laughing, can’t catch her breath.

“You can’t even  _ spell _ ,” She laughs, “You are  _ drunk.  _ D-R-U-N-K.”

“Look at me,” Dina says with a roll of her eyes, “My name’s Ellie and I’m, like, some kind of smarty pants, like...my pants are just...like the smartest…”

“Smart  _ pants,”  _ Ellie laughs as if this is the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

“It’s not  _ funny,”  _ Dina says, and she pushes Ellie’s arm, “You gotta  _ jump  _ or Jesse’s gonna be back and he’s gonna keep calling us, like, cowards or whatever--”

“No way,” Ellie says, “Not me, I’m still in my clothes--” She snickers and adds, “My smart pants. I don’t wanna ruin my smart pants.”

“So take them off,” Dina says.

“I--what?” Ellie smirks, teasing, “Did you just ask me to take my pants off? I’m telling Jesse--hey, Jesse--!”

“Oh, my god, you’re so  _ dumb,”  _ Dina laughs, grabs her arm, pulls her away from the edge to interfere with her attempt to get Jesse’s attention, “It’s kind of the best.”

Ellie lets Dina turn her around, bring her back from the edge, and Dina doesn’t let go of her arm, just pulls Ellie a few steps closer. 

“ _ You’re  _ the best,” Ellie says, “Like...really, the best.”

“Yeah?” Dina says, and her cheeks are flushed red with the heat and the laughing and the alcohol, “Do you really think so?”

“Hell yeah,” Ellie says, and her voice is a little quieter as Dina steps closer, “You’re, like...god. Just. Better than--anything.”

“Ellie,” Dina says softly, “I think you’re drunk.”

“I think--no, I’m not, I really mean it, I do--”

“Ellie, listen…” Dina says, and she puts a hand on each of Ellie’s forearms, steps in closer still, “I just, like...I really need to tell you--”

Ellie nods intently.

“I need to tell you I’m really sorry.”

“What--?”

Dina gives her a push, and that’s all it takes to knock her back, over the edge; there’s a resounding splash only a few moments later and Dina leans, looks down into the dark water, waits for Ellie to resurface.

She waits.

“Ellie?” She calls down.

Ben Porter, lingering at the bank of the lake with a girl Dina doesn’t know, gives a shrug when Dina looks at him questioningly.

“Ellie!” She calls again, “Ellie, this isn’t funny!”

But the surface of the water is completely still now, without a single ripple or bubble. Just an opaque sheet of nothing.

Just as Dina’s heart begins to lurch, she hearts movement behind her. It’s Ellie--sodden, drenched, clearly having slipped out of the water and back up the path to the top of the rock face.

“I’m gonna fucking  _ kill you-- _ ” Dina says, “You gave me a  _ heart attack-- _ what are you--”

“Better hold tight--” Ellie laughs, grabs Dina’s hands--and pulls them both over the edge, back into the lake.

Watching from the bonfire, Cat gives a disapproving huff. 

“It’s not even  _ that  _ high of a jump,” She comments to Sergio, who is playing a tambourine in time to some folksy song being played on a guitar, “So stupid. She’ll come over here when they get back up. Right? I’m just being too sensitive--god, Sergio, there’s such a thing as  _ too much  _ tambourine, you know.”

Sergio lowers the tambourine a little, taps it with a little less spirit.

But Ellie and Dina never do make it back up the path to the bonfire.  
  



	2. T-R-O-U-B-L-E

The water is cool and deep and it’s really stupid, it’s so immensely stupid to be out here drunk and swimming and jumping off shit like this and Ellie knows that if Joel finds out, he’s absolutely going to lose his shit and read her the riot act. He’ll probably even pull Dina and Jesse and Cat in, too. 

Dina knows it, too. Dina knows what Joel would say. He would talk about trust and keeping Ellie from getting her damn fool self killed. They’ve had the discussion before. Jesse thinks he’s overbearing, bordering on terrifying, but Dina’s not as sure--she likes Joel. She likes Joel because there isn’t a soul who can deny that he loves Ellie and is scared to death for her. She finds that endearing, and special, and she gets it. She really gets it. She feels equally invested in keeping Ellie’s damn fool self very much alive.

But it’s harder, at the moment, to see why this is a bad idea.

“You could have killed me--” Dina gasps with exaggerated outrage as she breaks the surface of the water, finds Ellie already laughing, “--you could have killed us both, you idiot--”

“You pushed me first!” Ellie reminds her.

“Yeah, but that was different--”

“You got my smart pants all wet,” Ellie tries to say it with a straight face, but she starts to laugh, which makes Dina laugh, and then they’re both laughing and treading water.

“Maybe you should have just taken the smart pants off when I told you to take them off--”

“Maybe you should try asking a little bit nicer--or, I don’t know, buy me dinner first or something--” Dina interrupts her with a splash of water, and Ellie shields her face with a laugh, “What--maybe you can boss Jesse around, but I need a little more--”

Dina splashes harder, “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m right--dammit, ugh, it’s in my mouth--Dina--” Ellie coughs, laughs, coughs some more, trying to avoid the splashing water.

Ellie takes a deep breath, slips under the surface of the water; Dina stops splashing, surprised and immediately suspicious.

“Ellie!” She calls out, “Ellie--what are you doing--”

Dina treads water, trying hard to see under the surface. It seems like a lifetime before Ellie resurfaces, and when she does, it’s from several yards away in the water, a little ways around the bend in the rock.

Ellie cups her hands over her mouth, shouts across the water at Dina,"Try splashing me now, punk!"

She's indeed out of splashing range; Dina starts to swim toward her.

“Dina wants my pants off--” Ellie calls up toward the top of the rock, where she knows the others are still gathered.

“Oh my god,” Dina yells back at her, “Shut up, why are you like this?!”

“She thinks they’re real smart. Also, she still sleeps with this little bear, I’ve seen it--”

“ELLIE,” Dina swims toward her faster, trying to get her back within splashing distance, but Ellie begins to wade even further back, still cupping her mouth with one hand.

“--it’s got this little pink bow and it’s adorable--”

“I’m literally going to murder you. Like, actual murder. Full, premeditated murder.”

“You’d have to catch me first, and you’re, y’know...kinda slow,” Ellie gives a watery shrug as she pushes further away.

“Slow? I’m not--you just learned to swim like yesterday.”

“And yet I’m still a better swimmer? You’re really not helping your case--oh, wait, hold on, I see something over there…”

Ellie turns away from her, swims around the bend in the rock and disappears. Dina follows her, away from the sound of the bonfire and the music and a really persistent tambourine. The water cuts back into the face of the rock, winds into an area with which Dina’s not totally familiar.

“What the hell, Ellie--where are we going?”

Ellie doesn’t answer, just continues swimming, and Dina continues following.

“Caves,” Ellie says as they approach a wall of rock; she pulls herself up onto a ledge, and the water pours off of her, “How did I not know these were here?”

She’s right--tucked away into the south side of the rockface, there’s a pocket of tiny, hidden alcoves carved out of the wall. Not really caves, but enough space to walk around. Enough space to take a break from the water.

Dina pulls herself up as well, but scrapes her bare leg against the rock face.

“Shit--that hurt…” She mumbles, and Ellie kneels down to help her.

“This is why, y’know--pants,” She says, leans in to look at the injury, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but if you say the word pants one more time I’m going to lose my mind,” Dina wants to sound annoyed, but as Ellie leans in, she finds the annoyance just isn’t there, and she gives herself away by laughing.

“You’re not the boss of me,” Ellie says, sits down next to her inside the cool, dark space of the alcove, “You can’t tell me what words to use, you know.”

“Hm,” Dina says, watching Ellie closely; there’s something about her, here in this private space, something in the way she’s so comfortably relaxed and happy and, yeah, drunk. 

“What’s hm even mean?” Ellie asks.

“It means you’re, like, cute when you’re trying to be a rebel--”

“Oh, I’m not trying,” Ellie says quickly, with a dumb, lopsided grin that Dina tries to memorize, tries to hold on to, because there’s something in the shape of it that just makes her happy, “I’m, like...I am a rebel. Like...fuck authority. Y’know?”

“Uh-huh,” Dina says slowly, “Such a rebel.”

“What? I totally am. Why are you looking at me like that? I’m, like--I’m...oh, shit. I’m really drunk,” Ellie laughs at this and lies back against the rock.

“Are you--like, are you okay?” Dina asks, concerned, “Ellie--”

But Ellie is still laughing. Just laying against the rough floor and laughing.

“Hello?” Dina says, and she lies back next to her, “Earth to Ellie? Mission control?”

“Copy that,” Ellie says, still breathless from laughing, “Ten-four. Coming in loud and clear. Breaker, breaker.”

“Oh, god--your brain is finally broken, isn’t it?” Dina laughs.

“Probably,” Ellie says, then, “This one time, I found this booklet with all this trucker lingo--drove Joel crazy with it for weeks. Y’know, I would just yell, like--watch out, you’ve got a bear on your donkey. He fucking hated it.”

Ellie laughs at the memory and she’s pretty all the time, but she’s really something when she laughs like this, easy and happy. Pretty isn't even the right word. Dina still hasn't found the right words for Ellie.

"Yeah, can't believe he put up with you all the way from Boston," Dina says, "He must be, like, a saint or something."

"I am, like--I'm a very fun traveling, y'know, person," Ellie says, clearly struggling for words again, "I'm like...the funnest. He got lucky. I'm--"

"Very fun, I heard you," Dina laughs, "You are, you're very fun. You're--" Dina pauses, aware that her drunken brain is sending dangerous words down to her tongue, and that she needs to be careful, “You’re--just. Like. You’re…”

“I’m what?” Ellie says expectantly, grinning with amusement at Dina’s inability to put words together.

Dina turns her head to find Ellie’s eyes with her own, and it’s really quite a thing, being there beside her, both of them happy and unhindered and whole. 

“You’re the best,” Dina says shortly.

“I think you’re the best, too,” Ellie says, and there’s a childlike earnestness in it.

There’s a long moment of silence, but it doesn’t feel weird. Doesn’t feel awkward or unwanted. No, it feels like peace. It feels like rest. Drunk and happy and smiling at each other for way too long--it feels like a rare moment of real, true contentment.

It’s a place, a moment, Ellie will come back to, in the future. When she feels lost and the dark is too much. When she needs to remember that good things are out there--this is one of the moments to which she’ll run for reassurance that she was happy, once.

“Shit,” Ellie says after a while, “I should probably go check on Cat. She’s probably, like...really mad at me. She seemed really mad, didn’t she?”

“She seemed...not happy, yeah," Dina agrees reluctantly, "I'm sorry, I think I got you in trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E."

"You did it," Ellie says as she gets to her feet, offers Dina a hand, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," Dina says, accepting Ellie's hand, "I'm proud of me, too. I really am sorry, though."

"It's fine…" Ellie sighs, "Cat doesn't stay mad for long. I think it probably has to do with, like--how adorable I am? I'm pretty sure that's what it is."

"Oh," Dina says with a roll of her eyes,"You think so?"

"Yeah," Ellie says, "I mean--just the...the general adorableness here, y'know...in the face region…" She makes a vague gesture toward her face, grinning stupidly; she's joking, and yet Dina can't help but think she's probably not wrong.

Dina laughs and shakes her head.

"And, y'know, for the record," Ellie goes on, "You don't have to be sorry. It was…" She pauses, thinks, says slowly, "W-O-R-T-H I-T."

"Worth it?" Dina repeats with a confused laugh.

"Yeah," Ellie says, "It was worth it."


	3. S-O-N-G

“Cat…” Ellie says slowly, as if she’s speaking to a wild animal on the verge of attacking, “Cat, I think you’re overreacting a little.”

“Don’t tell me I’m  _ overreacting,”  _ Cat says, “Do you remember what you said before we went out to the lake?  _ It’ll be great, Cat. We’ll spend the whole day together, Cat. I’ll play any song you want, Cat.  _ Does any of this sound familiar?”

“Yes…” Ellie concedes heavily, “Yes, but--”

“What song did you play for me, Ellie?”

“Uh...none.”

“ _ None,  _ Ellie. You played  _ none  _ songs. The only person who played any music for me all night was  _ Sergio.  _ Hours of tambourine, Ellie. That’s what our big day together amounted to for me. Hours of Sergio and the tambourine.”

“I’m  _ sorry _ ,” Ellie says, and she means it, she really does, “I can play a song now, if that’s what you want--”

“It’s not about the  _ song _ , Ellie,” Cat says, and her hands are fists at her sides, “It’s not about that at all. You blew me off, Ellie. You did.”

Ellie, sitting at the edge of her bed, rubs the back of her neck, looks down at the floor. She can’t argue. She  _ could _ , but she shouldn’t, because Cat’s not wrong.

Cat comes over, sits down beside her, arms folded over her chest. 

“Look, Cat…”Ellie says quietly, “I’d had a lot to drink and I just got carried away goofing off with Dina and Jesse. I didn’t mean to blow you off or hurt you. I really didn’t. You have to believe me.”

“I do believe you,” Cat says grudgingly, looking down at the toes of her canvas sneakers, “I just don’t think that’s the  _ whole  _ truth.”

“I’m not--I’m not  _ lying _ ,”Ellie says, “There’s nothing to  _ lie  _ about--”

“I don’t think you’re lying. I just think...I don’t know.”

They sit in stubborn silence next to each other, and it’s hard for Ellie to believe that just at the beginning of the summer, she’d been so close with Cat--now it feels like there’s a gap between them too large to be bridged, even though she’s right here, close enough to touch.

And Ellie isn’t even sure  _ why.  _ Isn’t sure why it happened. Isn’t sure how to fix it.

“Do you love me, Ellie?” Cat asks in a quiet, serious, fragile voice; she’s staring straight at her shoes, unable to look at Ellie.

“Yeah,” Ellie says, “Of course.”

She says it quickly, without looking at it.

Cat is quiet, and Ellie can tell she’s working up to something, working up to saying something important.

“Do you have feelings for her?”

Ellie’s face fills with heat; her palms immeidately feel damp and the world gets a little blurry at the edges.

“I--what? Feelings for who?” Ellie asks.

“Don’t do that,” Cat says, “Don’t play dumb. You’re not a dumb person, Ellie, and neither am I. Do you have feelings for Dina?”

“She’s my best friend,”Ellie says, “We just--really get along. It’s not a big deal--”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Cat cuts her off, says it with a ringing force that stops Ellie in her tracks.

Ellie looks down at her own shoes. She can see Cats trainers there beside hers in the floor. Almost the same kind of shoes, except Cat’s are covered in tiny messages from friends, and little drawings, and colorful scribbles. Ellie’s are just worn out, muddy, falling apart. 

Ellie folds her hands together. She can feel her heart beating hard and slow in her chest, thumping out a heavy, reluctant rhythm. She can feel the word in her mouth, but she isn’t sure if she can make it come out, give it life, make it real.

But she knows that anything else would be a lie, and Cat doesn’t deserve that. Doesn’t deserve a lie.

“Well?” Cat says, and there’s an edge of desperation in her voice.

“Yes.”

The air leaves Ellie’s lungs as she says it, that one syllable, as sure as if she’d been punched in the gut, and she hangs her head.

Silence stretches out between them, seems to fill up the whole room, until they’re both drowning.

“I’m gonna go,” Cat says.

She gets up from the bed, goes to the door. She pauses there, and maybe she’s hoping Ellie is going to say something, try to argue, try to deny it or take it back or tell her it was just a bad joke.

But Ellie doesn’t say anything, and Cat leaves.

_ Fuck.  _ Ellie scrubs her face with her hands, stands up, knocks a stack of books from her nightstand into the floor, as if that’s going to help, as if the books are to blame. 

How is it fair that Dina can cost her this, without even knowing it? Without even trying? Without doing anything at all? How can Dina ruin things like this, just by fucking existing?

None of that is fair, she realizes, or even true. It’s not Dina’s fault. The blame has to be all on Ellie. Should she have lied? Should she have said  _ no?  _ Would Cat have believed her? Would anyone? 

Maybe it’s all over her. Maybe everyone knows. Maybe everyone can see how pathetic she is, following Dina around when Dina is  _ never  _ going to feel the same way. 

She pushes her hands into her hair, trying to get some kind of hold on this, trying to not feel so much like destroying everything in the fucking room.

“ _ Fuck!”  _ She says it out loud, just once, just to feel something, just to get a fraction of this turmoil out in some way.

She drops down behind her desk, pulls out the notebook, picks up a pencil. She stares at the page for a long moment, then scribbles out some words in the margins of a page.

"Put on my favorite song

Let me listen on repeat

Turn it up too loud

Let it drown the rest out

And when the party's over

They can take themselves home 

Put on my favorite song

I'll listen alone"

It feels trite and inadequate and stupid and she hates it and if Dina is the song, then...what? What the fuck has she just written down? What the fuck is she trying to say?

She lays her head on the desk, adds a note to the page somewhere underneath it all, a hasty two word reminder for herself: 

_ I'm fucked. _


End file.
